Illustrated by Stella Engel
Rave: Candy Corn is the company that holds the glue together
While sweet corn may not be a favorite fall food, everyone should consider the cultural impact of sweet corn on our society, which cements its status as one of the biggest treats in vacation that ever existed.
The taste doesn’t matter, because it’s always subjective. For example, some people may not really like the taste of turkey, but they still love the labor-intensive Butterball as a prized possession.
Turkeys should be cooked between two and a half and five hours, depending on the Food Network. What are you doing – and more importantly, what are you eating during this long period of time? The bite-sized solution is to grab a few pieces of sweet corn to keep your appetite at bay.
The changing of the leaves and the drop in temperature create the mild season we call autumn. What better way to embody the spirit of fall than eating sweet corn, which has the pigmentation of fall?
Fall can be an emotionally and physically demanding time. Therefore, people need a little sweet snack to munch on to deal with their feelings.
This on-the-go method of snacking can be used anywhere. People can lay out bowls on their tables or take away snack-sized packets. Eating sweet corn doesn’t need a whole lot of planning, and it’s also not messy to eat.
I understand that candy corn is pure sugar – like the universally loved cotton candy – but when I have sleepless nights and refuse to drink coffee or energy drinks, candy corn is the perfect energy supplement for my hysteria caused by school. I’m sure others will understand.
When people are tired and need an effortless snack solution during the holiday season, the sugar-filled, bite-sized, and full-of-bliss candy corn handfuls are the only solution.
Rant: Candy Corn is only good on display
Although some love the iconic Halloween candy that is candy corn, I don’t think it deserves the praise it gets. I don’t understand what’s so special about tricolor pure sugar triangles.
Sure, sweet corn may look appealing, but it definitely doesn’t taste good.
Sweet corn has a unique flavor profile – sweet. It has none of the complexity of other spice-laden fall treats like cinnamon, cardamom, and nutmeg. These flavors are invigorating and fill me with warmth. Sweet corn is just sickeningly sweet.
There are also plenty of other fall festive favorites to choose from besides sweet corn – pumpkin pie, chai lattes, apple dumplings and many more. Sweet corn steals the show from other more deserving treats.
Eating sweet corn has a high opportunity cost. Sweet corn gives me a sugar spike without much benefit. After just one bite, I’ve already consumed too much sugar to indulge in any more sweets.
It’s a shame because if I’ve lost my appetite for sweets, I can’t taste any of the Reece’s Pieces, Snickers and Butterfingers calling my name. People should ask themselves if they really want to use their gluttony ability with sweet corn.
At best, people could use sweet corn as a decorative piece, but not consume it. Sweet corn is an example of a food that looks better than it tastes. Just as you wouldn’t eat food from the window of a Starbucks, you shouldn’t eat sweet corn either.
To satisfy a sweet craving, fall and Halloween lovers should choose other delicious, spicy, comforting treats instead of candy corn.
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